Welcome to the Kilpack Family Blog!

Friday, February 17, 2012

Struggling

Well, its been awhile since I've posted. I've had tons of things that I've wanted to put on here, but some how I just haven't made the time. Lots has changed in the last few months.
The biggest thing being that I've gone back to work full time. I've been back to work full time now for 3 months. I can't say if I'm used to it yet or even how I feel really. I do know that I feel that it's a constant struggle. A struggle with whether or not what I am doing/we are doing is the right thing. Part of me (a huge part of me) knows that yes, me going back to work is the right thing...lots of reasons like being able to buy a new reliable car, more money for our household, getting out of debt. But sometimes, well most of the time I am so extremely torn. I miss not being home when my kids get home from school, I miss not being able to run errands here and there, I miss the the freedom, I miss having dinner ready for my family at 6 o'clock, I miss me time, I miss scrap booking, I miss reading (tho I do get some reading instill). Saying all of this makes me feel selfish. In the end, I know that the benefits far out weigh the negatives that I feel, I just wonder when I will start to feel more positive...Ugh it's frustrating. It's not like working full time as a mom is new to me. I've done it before, but man,I really enjoyed being a stay at home, part time working mommy.
I do know that my husband is the most amazing man ever. He is such a huge help. I love that we are a team. When he's home first he makes dinner, he gets the kids to school in the mornings, he helps out wherever he needs to. I love that about him. Yet, even this makes me feel guilty. I feel like I should be doing all of the stuff he does, while trying to make things easier for him. That he should be the provider and I should be taking care of the kids, house, etc. I know that sounds stupid, because we both do things together for our family and home. But man, I'm really having a hard time with this.

Ugh......life!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

We survived!

This week was the first week of school for the kids and that also meant back to work for me! I'm happy to say that we survived this week. This week was a bitter sweet week for me, (maybe the last few months would be more accurate lots of things bothering me...life in general, but that's another post.) and my camera is broken, so I have no decent pictures.

Here's a little about the kids.

Colton:
Colton is officially a college student. I can't believe it! I got to spend some time with just him the weekend before he left. We went grocery shopping and just hung out. It was nice. I spent part of the weekend crying, but they were good tears....you know just mom tears, knowing that her baby is growing up and leaving the house. I think part of what made it so sad was that I couldn't go down to Snow with him, get him settled in and tour the campus etc. I've always dreamed about that day....taking your kid to college...moving them into their apartment...having one last meal together etc. It didn't work out that way. Colton had to finish up his externship and come Monday when he was ready to head down, I had to go work. Josh was able to stay home that morning and help him load up, so that was nice. While loading up they came across the chicken and hamburger that we bought on Saturday sitting on Colton's bed. It was nice and smelly. GROSS!!!! Anyways in Colton's rush to hurry up and leave the nest, he left his milk (had to have Costco milk mind you!) eggs, cheese, and lunch meat. I've talked to him a few times since he's left and I know that he is having fun. I know that he will do great things! I love that boy! I miss that boy!

Shawna':
Shawna' is in 9th grade this year. Holy Crap....when did that happen? She's one year away from high school...GASP! I can only hope that this year will be a good year and she steers herself away from the drama she surrounds herself by. Yikes....I worry about her so much. She has so much potential, but she doesn't apply herself. I hope that this is the year that she will realize her potential and take full advantage of all the good things that come her way. She tried out for the volleyball team this year. She didn't make it, but I am so glad that she tried. She wants to try out for the basketball team this Spring. Shawna' went to Girl Scout camp this summer, she signed up for the backpacking camp. She was gone for a week. I love that she is outgoing and wanting to try new things! Love this girl!

Dallin:
Dallin is in 6th grade this year. Wow....top dog at the elementary school. He seems to be liking it so far. I can only hope that we will have a great year. He has been working so hard on controlling his comments and trying to think things through. Hopefully that should help this year. He can be so impulsive and commentary.(I do like that he will still come say hi to me and give me a kiss when he sees me at school!) He is pretty stoked that he got to move downstairs to Colton's room and have his own room.Over the summer, he has been mowing lawns to earn money to play football. He had a pre-season game Saturday and the regular season starts this coming Saturday. He is loving every minute of it! Football has been so good for him. He also started Boy Scouts and that has been really good for him too. He went on a week long camp this summer and had so much fun. Love this boy!

Camryn:
Camryn is in 5th grade this year. She had a great first week. (At least I thought she did) At dinner tonight she asked is she could change teachers. She says that her teacher is mean. (Funny...she's really not as long as you are good!) So we talked about making sure to listen and follow directions etc. I'm sure she will end up liking her soon enough. Camryn is still taking piano lessons and is enjoying that (except when she has to practice). She loves art....drawing, listening to music, etc. She and Shawna' have been bonding and spending more and more time together. She is still involved in Girl Scouts and can't wait to go to camp next year. Love this girl!

Will:
Will is in 2nd grade. My baby is growing up! When did he get so big? He was so nervous about going to second grade. I love to watch him interact at school. I love that he gives me a big hug and a kiss when he leaves the lunch room everyday and if I'm out to recess at the same time he is, he always gives me a big hug. He is so funny. His best friend is Porter, they have been friends for about 4 years now. He is still pretty easy going about most things. He is super excited to have his own room and to be able to arrange it how he wants. Ahhh....the simple things in life.

Well, here is the start to another school year. I hope that it's a good one!

Monday, August 1, 2011

Booooo.....

Boooo....my camera is broken. Josh thinks that the video card went out on it. I'm sad.

Just in time for football season too :(

Friday, July 29, 2011

Fun in the Sun!

About a week ago on a lazy hot Sunday afternoon,

Josh decided to help the kids stay cool by setting up a slip-n-slide in the back yard.

They had a blast with it!

Thanks honey!

Trying to convince Will to go!

He's so funny...he was nervous!

This is what Dallin's leg looked like after scout camp.

He had over 30 mosquito bites just on his legs!

The kids had a blast rolling, slipping, and sliding down the hill.

I enjoyed sitting under the tree reading a book while the did all of that!

What a great Sunday afternoon!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

4th of July 2011 and proof that we celebrated Dallin's birthday

Wow...I can't believe that we have already celebrated the 4th this year. It seems like summer has just barely started for us.

Man, how time flies.

We celebrated by having a BBQ and our annual Sidewalk of Fire! We had a blast. This year, we let the kids light off most of the fireworks....and there were plenty. And of course they were ready to light them all off at 7:30p.m. Even better than our box, was that most of our neighbors bought the new legal "cake fireworks" this year, so we had quiet a show!

We all loved it!